Call me the Shit Whisperer

Cesar Milan hates us.

Sure, my partner Sara and I are fine people.  We moved to Haiti after the earthquake in 2010.  We’re people who love people.

However, our dogs behave badly.

two white dogs

Looks can be deceiving–

Whispering is not our strong suit.

In fact, Ralph and Lucy may be the least well-behaved in the long and illustrious history of canine misconduct.

Last week, for example, stopping to empty my own under-sized bladder before taking the dogs out for their potty break, I yelled at Lucy—“Don’t pee anywhere.”  I feared she might herself urinate inside before I had the chance to rise from my throne of piss-poor-pooch-parenting and escort her, still needing to pee, proudly outside to do her business.

In this instance, she managed to contain herself, so to speak.  Later, in the week, however, Ralph failed.

white dog with bone

“Who, me?”


Four times in a row.

Thankfully, he didn’t relieve himself on the rug Sara’d brought back after a year in Afghanistan.  By some miracle of canine justice he managed not to pee on that rug.

But did I mention he did do it four times?

Never mind that he’d been taking steroids for skin allergies, consuming copious amounts of water, and taking him outside every two hours wasn’t often enough.

Yes, I know this wasn’t Ralph’s fault—not a behavioral but a medical issue.

However, it underscored to Sara and me this week, just how close we’ve come to pathetic failures as pet parents.  I suppose we’ve gone to the dogs, in some sadly literal sense.  You be the judge.

But, clearly, we need help.  A lot of it!

You see, Lucy also poops where she shouldn’t.


“It’s all an ugly lie, what they say about me. I poop in all the proper places.”

Mostly we don’t know where, however, because Ralph eats her feces before we have a chance to clean up the excremental mess.

I don’t mean to sicken anyone.  I’m only trying to lay out the sad scope of our dysfunction.

Lucy even pooped last week on the small rug an Afghan friend of Sara’s had woven in the likeness of my partner’s face.

rug with face

Okay, it’s not a perfect reproduction of Sara’s face, but the poop was somewhere near the nose.

It’s one thing to walk all over your puppy parents.  It’s another to poop on them.  But to poop on their finely woven wool face?

Again, you be the judge.

Once, when Lucy was a puppy and I was teaching writing at my state’s flagship university, I took her to class with me.  My students had asked to “meet” her.  I obliged.  But we were a few students too many to gather comfortably around the conference room table.  The space was small, the table large.  Lucy weighed about 2 pounds, so she slept on the table next to me—my jacket a make-shift nest.  Later in the hour, while we were deep in a discussion of successful essay endings, Lucy woke without my noticing, walked a few feet, assumed the I’m-gonna-shit position and did JUST that.  Did it on my student Brenda’s (not her real name) “I-Bleed-Big-Blue” binder.

Yeah.  I was in a bind, alright.  I felt like crap.  Managed to literally accomplish both with one tiny turd left on one not-so-tiny table.

It broke the ice, however.  I never lived it down with those particular students.  Excremental jokes abounded for the rest of the semester.  That incident may even be recorded on the Rate-My-Professor website for all I know.  Honestly, I haven’t checked.  I’ve been afraid to.

True, the “accident” didn’t keep me from winning the department’s annual “Best Instructor Award” several months later—but Best Pet Whisperer Award?  That’s another matter.

So, in all seriousness, Sara and I fear this calls for an intervention.  It’s not necessarily up to you to offer aid.  We clearly require professional help.

Let’s face it, my partner and I may be inducted into the Poor Pet Parenting Hall of Fame before the week is out.  It’s too late for lay assistance.

I’m already the Shit Whisperer.

dog on shoulder

Call me the shit whisperer.

However, we wonder if anyone else has struggled with pet potty training—even little people potty training.  Surely we’re not alone in this.  So, Sara and I, feeling intensely lonely in our failure, want to hear your stories.  What pet nightmares have your survived?

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115 thoughts on “Call me the Shit Whisperer

  1. 1.our cat has ruined lots of stuff at our house but we still have him–the other people in this house love the cat–I feed him so I guess I am to blame too
    2. I was afraid my oldest son was going to go to school without being fully trained — the doctor said that there were no students in high school who were not trained–for some reason this made sense and my son then became fully potty trained–who do you think was the problem here?

    • Thank God your son finally got the potty thing. I’ve heard that boys are more difficult than girls. I don’t have kids, so I don’t know. I appreciate your commment and love having you stop by. Good luck with the cat, as well! Thanks so much! Hope you’ll come back again soon. Great to meet you!

  2. HA! :) Better to be the Shit Whisperer than the Shit Stirrer! I have no advice. I have no pets. But I can’t wait to see the suggestions. You make me laugh Kathy. The students obviously loved you, shit and all!

    HUGS! And hopefully someone can offer some help. :)

    • To be completely honest, I think the students loved me in part because of the poop incident. Talk about a casual learning environment. I assured them when it happend that it was sure to be the one and only time something like this happened during their entire education.

      So far the comments are looking fun. We’ll see. Happy Monday, my friend.

  3. Hahahaha.

    I was once the owner of an adorable, lovable, but horribly behaved rescue beagle named Grommet. I loved him with every fibre of my soul. But one time he figured out how to open my refrigerator, dragged every scrap of food from it, ate most of the food, and left the rest scattered all over my apartment. A few days later, he tried to find a bag of half-eaten deli ham that he had dropped behind the pillows of the couch for safe-keeping. He couldn’t find it, so he tore a hole in the side the couch. And that’s just one of many shocking stories. Luckily he didn’t have much problem with potty training until he got old and his bladder started weakening.

    I never stopped loving Grommet though. I still miss him. He lived to be about 16 and is in beagle heaven now. God rest his adorable, naughty little soul.

    • Oh, how fun to hear about Grommet. And what a cute name! Sounds like one VERY hungry beagle! May Grommet have plenty to eat in puppy heaven. Great to hear from you today, Heather. Hope the rest of your Monday is Melville-cat perfect!

  4. We all know just how great I was at training Scout The Beast to do anything I asked. I am about the last person who should give pet advice. What I DID learn from my time with my rotten, wild dog is that they really are like kids. Despite the chewing, the pooping, they are still good. Lucy, for instance, rocks a hair bow like few could, and Ralph is sweet with kids (ok, my kid). Hope your house is pee free soon. In the meantime HIDE YO’ RUGS :)

    • Yeah, I’ve thought rolling up the rugs might not be a bad idea. Sara is opposed to that option. Actually, things were probably only bad this week because of the medication Ralph was taking. He really is completely potty trained–hasn’t had an accident like this in years. Poor boy. And yes, Ralph loves kids–Thomas being foremost among them! Hope your sweetie had a great birthday!

  5. Your dogs are so cute, I heart Ralph!

    I’ve always had cats. I used to work long hours and I lived in an apartment building where I would leave the patio door open for the cats to use the litter box. One afternoon I forgot to open the door and went to work my 12hour shift. When I came home I was exhausted and fell into bed. I woke the following morning with cat poop all over my feet … I thought that maybe it was I that had the problem at first sight. Then I realized that my cat was pissed at me and pooped on my bed, at the bottom then so brilliantly covered it back up with my covers. How he did that remains a mystery but I never forgot to open the patio door after that!

    • OMG, Jennifer, that sounds like a nightmare! Cats are so, so smart–and their pee smells SOOOOOOOO bad. I would never have forgotten the patio dorr again either! LOL Bless your feline-loving heart! Thanks for your comment today! Love hearing from you, my friend!

  6. With a winning title like that, how can I not resist reading this first thing in my day? My childhood dog, Mean Streak, technically lived in the garage where he was free to pee his brains out. A favorite place to lift his leg was on a corner of the washing machine, but he also spent much of his day in the house, where he liked to look out the front window for victims to bark at walking past or lie under the kitchen table, his favorite place to chew his nails; he was that neurotic. We walked him three times a day and he always went out for a leak before bed time. Plus, there was the washing machine should he wake and have a 2 am bark-fest prompting the need to pee again … My sister’s dog, Thurber, was already housebroken when she rescued him as an older puppy six years ago. He’s the type that will make it clear when he needs to go. We pay attention to him. If Ralph and Lucy are the types that don’t give you the “I need to go out” message, maybe you guys should get in the habit of letting them out every hour or two. Don’t you have a yard where they could at least take a leak? How often do you walk them? You might want to have a schedule; create a routine they can get used to. Mean Streak knew when his walks were coming. And again, there was the washing machine. Whatever you do resist adding one of those to the living room’s decor. That might inspire Ralph.

    • So far Ralph has not peed on the washer. Thank God! Truly, Ralph is completly potty trained. This week with him is the exception. He’s on medication that’s causing the problem. I had been taking him out every couple of hours. Plus, our house is big and room he peed in is one I don’t go in often. We simply didn’t notice. Sad, I know. We do have a yard. It’s fenced. Dogs get walked. Maltese are just notoriously bad for this. She usually only has an accident every few months or so. I may have made things sound a bit more dire than they actually are. Poetic license in order to elicit laughs. Happy this post persuaded you to stop by. I assume you’re back at the Grind! Poor you! And hope your project is going well, also.

  7. I am utterly and completely useless at training pets or potty training kids for that matter. My mother-in-law potty trained my kids. When my eldest daughter was 2 and a bit, I took her with me to the shops, proudly wearing a panty. Standing in the queues, she all of the sudden exclaimed that she needed to wee. But I was already at the front of a half-an-hour queue so I asked her to try and hold it in a tiny bit longer, which she couldn’t (of course). I tell you one thing, a two year old can store a lot of wee in their bladder! Good luck with the pet training…

  8. Oh dear. You do have a mess, don’t you? We have always hd cats who were great at using the letterbox until they were in their twilight years…. There was the one who got cystitis and used the stove burners to wee on—- talk about disgusting!!!! Ugh!!!!! Good luck with your cuties— I suspect someone out there has the answer…

    • Goodnesss, Beth Ann–as soon as I get one story, the next one tops it. I have to admit peeing on the burners would have been a bumber! How did you ever deal with that one? Truly, that may be the biggest potty nightmare I can imagine. Poor YOU!

    • So far, I’ve gotten less advice, than really, really good pet potty stories. Apparently lots of folks have faced these kinds of issues. Can’t tell you how happy I am to hear from you, and to know I made you laugh. Hope you’ll stop by for more amusement on another day! Thanks for your comment!

  9. Were you on the first floor of POT when you were teaching? I’m assuming this was at UK. I hated those little tiny conference rooms that passed for classrooms. I had to take a couple of classes in them, but I never had to teach one. I presume you’re familiar with

    • Yes, it was POT–one of the two classrooms on the corner closest to the art museum. It was a bit too small, but cozy, I suppose. Were you in grad school? English department? And when? Bet we crossed paths. I had NOT heard of dogshaming. How perfect.

  10. OMGosh, this is so funny, Kathryn! LOL! I have the same issues with Baxter! The other day I was chasing him around the living room with poop hanging from his mouth! Ewww! So, yes, I understand. And see the humor also. Another funny thing is….I have Cesar Milan’s cd’s right here! The full set! Sheesh. Whatever bad parenting award you deserve, I deserve it too. Maybe we should start a club! Or a support group! LOL! Also, Baxter made a video today. I received an e-card and Baxter sang along with it. I’m going to post it to your fb wall right now. Take care and thanks again for the laugh! Blessings to you, Sara, and the rest of the rebels! xoxoJulia

    • Okay, I’m happy to hear that Ralph is not the only poop-eater in America. I can just see you chasing Baxter! Talk about a shit-eating grin! OMG! I love you even more noe, Julia! Can’t wait to see the card. And, yes, a support group is called for. “Hello, my name is Kathy, and I’m a Shit Whisperer.” LOL

      • Ha ha ha! I’m totally cracking up!!! I was thinking that when you showed the pic of the rug of Sara (was it a rug?). I thought man, that dog just shit on her face! Owie! That’s sure saying something! ha ha ha! Too much. Thank you so much for cracking me up today! I’m sitting here like an old grinning fool! xoxoJulia

    • I knew Ceasar Milan and I were NOT going to be bosom buddies when he insisted I treat my dog like a DOG. Seriously?????? How can you look at that face and not want to kiss it and love it half to death? He’s my BABY, not my DOG. Geez, Ceasar. Get a clue. (*smirk*)

      p.s. Yes, it’s possible. This might explain why I have dog training issues. Maybe. Possibly.

  11. My Snowy has same situation..almost same…he is old now and ends up peeing at home everymorning…sometimes he tries to wake me up and i take too much time to realize why is he waking me up.. we have two artificial flower pots near out front door..i think they remind him of real flowers and so he just relieves himself there.. :P

  12. This can be so frustrating…but you tell the stories well. There are several products that you can feed your little dog to make her feces unappetizing to the other. “Nasty Habit” is one brand name. Unfortunately, they are all a bit expensive, and you may have to try a few before finding the one that will work in your case. I have stories, but no time today to tell them. Good Luck!

  13. The title of this post just about cracked me up!
    Poor Ralph. Reggie has an immune disorder and had to take those steroids for about 6 months. I felt so terrible for him. He’d try not to pee inside but he just couldn’t help it. Even his vet said that the medication makes it so that they don’t even realize they have to go until it’s too late.

    Now, about the poop eating… oh dear. Sorry, Ralph, no excuses for that.

    • Poor puppies. Fortunately Ralph’s skin allergy seems to have cleared up now. He’s a good bit better this week. But–the poop eating? I can’t let him out in the yard alone unless I’m sure to have picked it all up. Silly boy!

  14. My deceased dog Jazzmine learned to poop, pee and run at the same time. She figured out she wasn’t supposed to go in the house, so when she saw me coming, she’d run, whether she was finished or not.

  15. I don’t think I am very good at training – my children just seemed to train themselves and my poor Cleo has chronic cystitis so has some very leaky days. I just wash her bedding and regularly and i have donated one of my rugs to her which gets hosed down very often dangling from a tree in the middle of the bush. I don’t allow her to lie on or spend any time on my other rugs. Poor mutt!

  16. I have certainly had those days. I swore for a long time that potty training kids had a “window of opportunity” and if you missed that you were in for the long battle. Any excuse you know. With Orion the CP certainly made things much more difficult and I was still sending a “just in case” set of clothes into school in Jr. High. With Karina her father and I decided to get our divorce at the time she was interested and the additional stress plus lack of consistency made us “miss” that window of opportunity. However once we found the right motivation (You can’t go into the next level preschool class until you use the potty and don’t have accidents) she was happy to comply.

  17. Haaaheeee.
    how can such cute pups be naughty?
    Seriously, they have nothing on my cat, Charlie (otherwise knows as Little Bastard!”
    He is sooooo naughty that I put coal in his litter box!

  18. Totally not what I was thinking based on the title, my girlfriend asked twice what I was giggling at… I want a rug with my girlfriends face on it… Can’t promise the only “suspect” will be the cat!

  19. I have two dogs — one is a 110 pound Akita (Bruiser), who was a gift my son left behind when he married his wife (she with four cats and a small dog of her own). Bruiser is a bully. He doesn’t like other dogs. In fact, he tries to eat them, whenever given the chance. He is NOT the most popular boy on the block when I take him to the pet park. (Yes, I’m insane — constantly trying to socialize him — and constantly being reminded that he likes to eat other dogs, and doesn’t play nice with others).

    My other dog is a small terrier mix (Ozzie) that was a rescue dog, and he is the first dog Bruiser didn’t eat, so I invited him home to live with us permanently, and so far, Bruiser still hasn’t eaten him yet. (Just kidding … they have been pals now for about seven years).

    No potty issues with Bruiser (thank goodness — that would be a BIG issue with a 110 pound dog). He just has “eating other dogs” issues. However, Ozzie, the adorable and lovable and laid back terrier mix, insists on peeing in the house at least once a month, which I usually discover in my bare feet, generally when my hands are full of fresh laundry, or groceries, etc.

    He gets the chance to go out at least a dozen times a day. Both he and Bruiser are neutered, so it shouldn’t be about marking territory. Half the time, he will have just been outside, and then he walks in and with pee on the corner of a table. Catching him in the act is near impossible. He knows how to be invisible when he wants to be invisible. Why he pees in the house is a mystery to me, and even though I’ve had him checked at the vet for any medical issues (none surfaced), I’ve eventually had to accept that it must be an attitude issue. As in, “piss on you”. Why, oh why, oh why does this sweet and adorable little red-headed sweetie-pie have to pee in the house?

    It’s a mystery. When it happens, I threaten to throw him “back to the streets where you came from” and then, of course, I feel like a horrible parent for saying such mean things, and have to spend the next few days doling out extra treats and extra scritches behind the ears. If I wasn’t worried about humiliating him beyond repair, I would make him wear a diaper. Instead, I just get out the bleach and clean up the mess, and shake my head and ask WHY, WHY, WHY. Some day I hope he gives up this annoying habit. Until then, I keep the bleach close by, and try to love him anyway. After all, if Bruiser didn’t eat him, the least I can do is love him too. Right?

    Yes, this makes me a bad doggie parent. I should install cameras or lay in wait and try to catch him in the act so that I can apply corrective action, but who am I kidding? I’m telling you, he has invisible dust. I could wait forever, and never catch him. Until one morning on my way to the fridge, my toes find a puddle, and the cycle begins all over again. Ozzie is otherwise an adorable and lovable little mutt who probably had a hard life before he moved in with Bruiser, so I try to cut him some slack. But good doggie parents would insist on better behavior. Mark me down as a poor doggie parent. Apparently I forgive too easily. *shrug*

    • Actually, your Ozzie sounds like my Lucy. I go outside with her to make sure she pees when she’s there, as she’d just as soon wait and do it on the rug when she gets back indoors. Irritating. I suppose it’s a behavioral problem. Glad you don’t have potty issues with Bruiser–(love the name, by the way). OUr Ralph is aggressive with other dogs, as well–though he tolerates and sometimes even loves Lucy. Great to hear from you today. Hope you’re doing well.

  20. Your dogs are both very cute.
    Our dog Monty Carlo pissed (which is the plural of pee) on my living room carpet. I heard the noise, said to my son who was visiting at the time, “I shouldn’t be hearing a waterfall in the house. Why am I?” looked across and there was the dog defiantly letting me know he wasn’t pleased. But as I don’t speak dog I never found out what it was that displeased him.

    • Fascinating that you say this, Rosie, as that’s exactly how we discovered Ralph was peeing indoors this week. Sara HEARD it. Now, you know that’s a lot of urine, if you can hear it in another room! Waterfall sounds like some serious piss. I would say you’re up shit creek, but it doesn’t exactly fit. Guess I just said it. LOL

    • Fascinating that you say this, Rosie, as that’s exactly how we discovered Ralph was peeing indoors this week. Sara HEARD it. Now, you know that’s a lot of urine, if you can hear it in another room! Waterfall sounds like some serious piss. I would say you’re up shit creek, but it doesn’t exactly fit. Guess I just said it. LOL

  21. Like you’ve said, Kathy, Ralph has medical issues that will resolve. And Lucy’s intermittent “self expression” doesn’t seem like a big deal in the doggy scheme of things. Poor Ralph is so embarrassed by her behavior that he has to get rid of the evidence! What a good boy!

    My former mother-in-law had a cocker spaniel that made its own kibble, too. Ugh.

    • OMG–can’t wait to share this logic with Sara! Tooooooooo perfect. Sara will especially love this since Ralph is technically her dog. She’ll love to ascribe this motivation to him! What a hoot! Thanks for sharing this bit of canine mind reading!

  22. So many reasons for writing…..this piece was written for Joy and for Love. And, more importantly, to teach the lesson of forgiveness. I needed all three this morning. Looking forward to it having set a tone for the day and challenging me to exercise all three.

  23. Well, just last Thursday, on Mark and my anniversary, I let Arthur out the front door before we left and promptly stepped into a turd that he politely left on the carpet in our hallway in front of the door. Which might not have been so terribly, had I not had on fabric shoes.

    My opinion: it’s not you; it’s little white dogs. And it’s true about them what I heard about babies before my first was born, “Being cute’s what keeps them alive.”

  24. Interesting trials and tribulations, then again, pets – gotta love ’em.

    We’re cat people, but like all pet owners, who can’t share stories of destruction and bizarre stuff. Like our cat who ate a bunch of thread. We had to watch for it to pass, so when it did … we could catch him, thus he was running around the house the coated string out his butt. Yep – and he was the one that ate wood paneling in our kitchen (which we didn’t like, so good reason to replace it.

    Meanwhile, good luck to Ralph with the treatment.

    Have a week that interrupted my normal routine, glad to back making my rounds.

  25. I’m picking up a dog we adopted this afternoon. Although my family is perfectly comfortable with our new four-legged friend, it’s a leap of faith for me. Good thing our carpet is really, really dirty.

    Thanks for a great post on the perfect day for me to read it… =)

  26. Oh how funny! To think that happened at the University (let alone the OTHER incidences!) I can’t imagine how one goes about becoming a Good Pet Parent. Probably one of the reasons we are no longer pet owners. Once we (inadvertently) discarded baby hamsters under the oak tree in the woods. We were really really REALLY bad pet parents.

    • But apparently you were very good people parents, so I don’t buy it, Kathy! I can’t imagine you could be bad at nurturing anything. It’s the “inadvertent” part that matters. Well, maybe not to the hampsters, but——

  27. My pet alligator once chewed a hole in the couch the size of a bowling ball. I was not a happy camper that day, and let him know it!

    Sydney, fortunately, has few accidents of any sort ever.

    Tell me this: was the rug Sara brought back from Afghanistan an Afghan?

  28. Oh dear! I have not had a pet with toilet problems…..except that when one of our cats got very old he was a bit demented. One day he marched purposefully across the floor, jumped up onto Jim’s lap and peed on him. I could see the humour in this, but he didn’t.

  29. Oh gosh, could I tell stories! But I’ll just tell one. When we first got Bella, I’m pretty sure she was suffering from abandonment issues. Any time she thought she was being left behind, (Including those times I was merely in the shower,) she would pee in our upstairs hallway. It just took her some time to learn that we would always come back.

    If you figure out what’s going on with the pooping, let me know. My Lucy is suddenly barking. A LOT. As if she thinks she’s talking to me. I’m sure it’s something that needs correcting too. I’m just not sure why she’s doing it or what to do about it.

    • Oh, don’t tell me you all are having a poop eating issue. Lordy, it’s so disgusting! Glad Bella’s doing better and Lucy is talking so much. Just hope you figure out what she’s trying to say soon. Great to hear from you!

  30. Are your lovelies older? I am down to one dog now, she is nearly 15, deaf as can be and doesn’t do well if left in the house to long. I bring her in at night of course but must keep her away from the cat food and water or she will simply let loose. Luckily the entire downstairs is hard surface (tile or concrete except our bedroom and she isn’t allowed in there) and thus pretty easy to clean.

    One thing others have done with smaller dogs is use a fake lawn patch. A bit messy but you can buy them at the pet store and train your dogs to use them instead of the carpet. They look and feel like grass and are easy to clean. This is an ‘in a pinch’ solution and doesn’t take the place of walking the dogs, but might help once you got them trained to use the patch instead of your carpets.

    My poor Scarlet doesn’t really enjoy being in the house unless I can protect her from the annoyance of the cats, both are 12 years old and still like to sleep with her and bat her around. In her advanced age, well she just doesn’t have the patience she once did.

    • Ah, silly kitties not respecting their elder! Cats can be such a hoot. We have all hardwood floors, but we have area rugs. It were up to me, I’d roll them up, but my Sara will have none of that. Oh well. Great to hear from you today. Happy Wednesday.

  31. I can’t do the math (it’s my worst subject), but I think the percentage of people offering solutions is far less than the people professing their unconditional love for their pets despite the pee and poop incidents. Your story about your dog’s “show and tell” in the classroom was hilarious (sorry – just had to laugh), and it reminded me of the time I caved to the whining (co-workers, not the dog) and brought my Lab to the office. The first thing she did when everyone was gathered around was drop her arse on the floor and drag it across the carpet. Arrrggghhhhh!

  32. Aaaaaack!! First of all Kathy, puh-leez convert Sara’s face rug into a wall-hanging or something! Rugs with faces should NEVER be on the floor in a house with animals :| I’m superstitious that way.
    Fuzzy pees EVERYwhere except where he should! So we just can’t keep rugs lying around, though I simply love rugs, they make homes so cozy, but they’re SO hard to clean again and again and cat piss is so vile!!!! Plus Fuzzy just waits for our backs to be turned and he’ll sneak onto a rug and pee on it! It’s truly madness!!
    So I really sympathize with you… DO need help! And I don’t think it’s because you’re bad pet parents, just that animals can be totally silly :)

    • I’d be happy to accommodate you with Sara’s face, but what is the superstition? Oh, you are so right about cat pee. The smell is horrid! Sorry you can’t have rugs down on the floor. Hope you’re doing well today, my friend.

  33. This is hilarious. The things you put up with, Kathy. And for what, the love of a good dog(s)? Well, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Dogs can bring us so much happiness. A little poop on the rug is a small price to pay, if you ask me. ;)

  34. A couple of things you need to be aware of: if they drink a lot of water you probably will have to take them out every 1 to 1 1/2 hr; male dogs pee a lot more than females; when you take them out to do their business, always use the same door so they get used to it and as time goes by they, not you, will go to the door to signal to you that they need to go out. Hang in there:)

    • Thanks so much for sharing this. I didn’t realize they might need to go out as often as every hour. This is good to know. However, it does make it tough to sleep through the night. I appreciate your comment and hope you’ll stop by again soon. Great to have you.

      • No problem. Going out depends on the following: age of dog, amount of water consumed, and weather. In the winter, mostly male dogs, seem to pee more often than its female counterpart. But, your dog should be able to sleep in his crate through the night as long as you take him out one last time just before you go to bed and stop giving him water by 8pm. My dog, Alex, was able to sleep through the night without a problem in her kennel by the time she was 3 months old. I hope this helps:)

  35. lol! The problem itself isn’t funny, but the way you play with words in your presentation of the problem is hilarious. I have cats, but we are not without difficulties with Izzy and Bella. Every now and then one of them (I haven’t determined who and probably never will because cats are sneaky) leaves a pile of poop in an inappropriate place (under the desk, on the dirty laundry that is sitting on the laundry room floor). When they’re not doing that, they’re building huge mounds of litter outside of the litter boxes. And then there are the hairballs…gag!

    • Oh, I’m so happy you found this funny! I know what you mean about cats being sneaky. I don’t know that dogs are much better–except for the look of guilt they sometimes get. Lovely gifts they’re leaving for you, Robin! Thanks for your comment. Love hearing from you!

  36. I missed this post previously and I’m laughing so hard. :D Guess who has rescued and adopted two female breeding bitches Chihuahuas that previously lived in cages? We have them confined to a single room without any carpets when aren’t with them and in that room we have a large piece of tar paper with absorbent thick layer of newspaper on top of it. That room has a slider to a deck which leads to a fenced yard and in the summer we leave the slider open. No way I would trust my lovely little bitches to be in the area with carpets when I’m not with them.

    • I’m so glad you got to read it! Sara and I are forever laughing at our dogs and our own ineptitude and being good puppy parents. It’s sad, really. We love our dogs–maybe too much. It’s great to hear your rescued the Chihuahuas. So sad to think of them living in cages. Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment. I love hearing from you!

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